Growing up near Newburgh, and attending the schools that I did, I had the privilege of having friends from all ethnic backgrounds. The color of someone’s skin never mattered to me, and I never once thought about not being friends with someone based on the cultural differences between us. In fact, looking back, having those friendships enriched my life, and those are still some of the most cherished I have today.

People are people. You will find that some are good and some are bad, but a lot of times that has to do with the choices they make. It breaks my heart to see what is going on all over the country, and I can’t understand how all this hate and violence is going to make anything better. What happened to George Floyd was one hundred percent wrong and the people involved should be punished for that. That one police officer doesn’t define them all though. Innocent people on both sides are getting hurt, and for what? There has to be a better way.

Steve and I sat CJ down the other day, for the third time in just a few months, and had to explain to him something that we don’t fully understand ourselves. We talked to him about bad choices people make, and how because of this particular bad choice an innocent man died. We explained to him that the man who made the bad choice was a white police officer, and the man who died was black. CJ didn’t understand why the man died at all, not even questioning the difference in color. If only we could all see the world through the eyes of a seven year old.

We felt it was important to also discuss the protests with him. We didn’t go into great detail, but he hears us talking, and asks questions. This is bigger than George Floyd and isn’t going away. He needs to know. We tried to explain why people are mad and that it’s okay to be mad and stand up for what you believe in, but it’s not okay to destroy property and hurt people. It’s certainly not okay to do what that police officer did.

Raising CJ with knowledge of world events, and making sure he is safe and happy are priorities for us. He’s a good kid who chooses not to hang out with kids because they steal his pencils, not because their skin color is different. His class is diverse and kindness is something we encourage everyday, no matter what. We will do the same for Jack when the time comes. Thankfully Ella enjoys being around anyone who can entertain her.

It hits close to home on a very different level for us. We have multiple immediate family members and close friends who are part of law enforcement. CJ sees and hears things, and worries about people he loves getting hurt. Steve and I always tell him everyone he loves on the front line will do everything they can to keep peace and come home safely. It’s getting harder and harder for him to say goodbye to daddy before work. We are a pro-cop family but are always pro-peace. I pray every day that very soon the two of those things go hand and hand.

In more uplifting news, Ella had a good day. We spoke to her doctor this afternoon and she thinks the episodes from yesterday were breakthrough seizures. She decided to up her dose of medication in hopes to eliminate those all together. She also said it’s only been a week, so her brain hasn’t fully adjusted to the medicine. She wants us to keep her updated on what we see, but didn’t seem concerned. She said often times the beginning is all about finding the right dose.

I continue to find myself in a permanent state of exhaustion. I am doing my best to try and get sleep when I can but my mind is all over the place. I will be happy when school is over because it will be one less thing on my plate. Tomorrow I head back to Dr. Joe. I am hoping an adjustment will help relief some of this stress I tend to carry all over my body.

I hope everyone is staying safe out there and know, I love you all.

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