I am following an amazing woman on Instagram @theablefables. She is an author who writes books empowering kids to celebrate ability! I love everything about the message she is sending and enjoy seeing the kids she features on her page.

I recently requested an email to submit Ella’s story, and possibly get her featured on her page. In her reply email was a list of questions that I was asked to answer. The very last one really got me thinking. It asked me to tell a story of a time my child was (or wasn’t) included that greatly affected me.

I struggled with an answer because for the most part people continuously go out of their way to make sure that Ella is included. Whether it’s adapting games or making special food for her gluten free diet, the willingness to make sure she’s taken care of and happy is heartwarming. There is not one specific time that stands out because it really has become the norm.

I asked Steve if he could think of anything. It took him a few minutes, and it might not have been the exact answer she was looking for, but he did remind me of an incident when we were at Disney. We did feel Ella was excluded. Not from an event, but from a policy. An incident that I feel is worth sharing.

For those who don’t know, the family took our first trip to Disney World last December. A year and a half of planning and we were so excited to be going. Aunt Liz was even joining us, making the trip extra special. We headed out a day early because of an impending snowstorm and got settled before Liz arrived. We knew we needed to get the disability pass for Ella, and asked when we checked in how to go about doing that. We were told that needed to be done at a park, but were told days later there was a place at Disney Springs we could have gotten it when we were there (we never confirmed that because it was too late at that point).

Day one was Animal Kingdom. The first order of business when we arrived was to head to guest services and get the disability pass. The woman we saw couldn’t have been nicer, explaining all the things having the pass entailed, including the sticker for our stroller. She informed us that once we put in on, the stroller was considered a wheelchair. She told us this meant we didn’t have to park it at rides and could bring it through the lines. She also said to make sure we let the bus driver know because it wouldn’t need to be folded on the bus as we were traveling. This news was super exciting because twice we had to sit Ella on the floor, before Liz arrived, so Steve could fold the stroller while I held Jack.

Our day at Animal Kingdom was jam packed with fun. CJ discovered his love for fast rides. I discovered that Avatar makes this motion sickness prone mama nauseous. Ella and Jack were in their glory people watching, and loved all the rides we were able to take them on. We mastered the fast pass and ride swap features, and snacked on Disney themed food day long. Only once or twice did cast members question the stroller when we got in line, but once we showed them the sticker, we got the all clear.

It was a long first day so we were all happy to end things a little early. We walked to our hotel bus stop, which I swear was the furthest away, and got in the handicap line. In front of us there was a woman in a motorized scooter. As the wait continued, a man with a motorized scooter got in line behind us. It felt like we were waiting forever, and the line was getting super long. There are two handicap spots on the bus and we were second in line. We didn’t think we had to worry about not getting not getting a spot.

The bus driver got off the bus and walked over to the handicap line. He looked at the three groups waiting and pointed to the man and woman in the scooters, giving us a look to get out of the way. We showed him the sticker and he told us we would have to wait. The double stroller needed to be folded. We explained to him that’s not what we were told inside the park, and he proceeded to rattle off all the reasons why strapping the double stroller in on the bus wasn’t safe. I am all for keeping my kids safe, but his information didn’t seem consistent with what we were told earlier. Side thought, I don’t really see how cramping people on a bus, some of whom are small children standing, is safe either.

Well, things escalated. My sister in law, god bless her, took control and didn’t back down. Eventually we were able to get on that bus and get back to the resort, but not without causing a mini scene first. Even as the driver was securing the stroller, he was defending his position on why he couldn’t keep the stroller open and strapped down. He kept saying it wasn’t Disney policy. That was definitely something we checked into immediately after we got to the resort.

Liz headed to a manager the second she got back. The ride only fueled the fire in her belly. After speaking with the manager it was confirmed that the woman we spoke to at guest services was indeed correct. The stroller was considered a wheelchair and was to be secured, open, on the bus. He was extremely apologetic and promised to pass our complaint along to transportation. Due to our troubles, he offered us an additional two anytime fast passes each day, for each person in our party, for the duration of our trip.

Every other bus driver we encountered happily wheeled the double stroller onto the bus with no issues at all, many of them engaging with Ella and Jack in the process. We even asked the next bus driver we saw what the policy was. Without flinching, he said if the stroller has the sticker it’s a wheelchair, and gets treated as such. Clearly he went through a different training than the first bus driver we had.

What made it even worse were the people carrying strollers who got on the bus and commented under their breath as they walked by and saw our stroller open. At a quick glance, without engaging with or watching her, Ella doesn’t look disabled. If you say hi, nine times out of ten, she smiles and people move on. They don’t see the sticker on the stroller and automatically assume we scammed our way onto the bus with an open stroller.

The same thing happened when we were in line. Those people struggling to keep their kids in their arms, during longer wait times, were questioning others around them why we had the stroller and they couldn’t. Many even reminded us we needed to park it. I refuse to defend my actions to anyone, especially when I know that I am right. Ella struggles every day. She deserves a little break. Sorry, not sorry, your kid won’t stop running around your legs. I would trade spots with you in a heartbeat.

Overall the trip was quite magical and only one other time was there an issue with Ella and her pass. That moment did affect us all. Never should we have had to defend a policy that was put in place to avoid such things from happening.

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