You can have eight thousand people tell you stories about parenting, trying to prepare you for what is to come when you have children of your own. They give advice, offer guidance, and promise to always be there if you need them.
All of those are super sweet gestures, and I am certain are coming from a very thoughtful place. The truth is, people can give you a glimpse of what parenting is like, but it’s one of those things you need to experience yourself in order to fully comprehend the emotional complexity of it all.
No one can accurately describe, or prepare you for, those 3 am feedings that quite possibly could result in the worst diaper blow out you have ever experienced in your life. The kind that makes you dry heave the second the smell hits the air. Or what’s it’s like to lovingly be looking into your newborn sons eyes while changing him, only to have him pee all over you. These are joys that one must experience themselves.
How could anyone possibly know to warn you about your dog getting car sick and puking all over your child seconds before you pull into the driveway? The screaming child then scaring the already frightened dog, and all hell breaking loose. These moments must be lived and fully taken in. Even with a little heads up, no one will ever say, this must have been what Dan was talking about. I know exactly how to handle this.
I mustn’t forget the peeing the bed, the furniture climbing, the inappropriate words that slip out of your child’s mouth, the blood, the insane amount of sweat, the smells (my god the smells), the back talk, the chewing with their mouth open, the whining, the wet willy’s, the unwillingness to smile for any picture, the boredom, and the daily battle to brush their teeth. All of these can come with warnings, but there is no way to predict how your child will act, or react, to any of them.
But with all the possible not so great things, there are also so many wonderful moments. The first crawl, the first step, the first word, or the first time they accomplish anything significant to them. As a parent you set the bar on what moments hold the most value for you and your child. Just because Susie’s parents bought her a pony for saying the alphabet backwards, doesn’t mean we all put the same value on that skill. Johnny’s parents could be equally as thrilled that he can identify the letter A.
As life moves forward there are sports and academic accomplishments to celebrate, big birthdays, graduations, weddings, jobs, and moving out of the house. Along the way there will be heartache and bumps in the road, but as any parents would do, you deal with those as well. You are constantly learning and growing together.
There is something magical about the laughter. Never did I envision farts being so funny, or hearing such loud laughs coming from my youngest children, all because their big brother jumped off a couch. It’s delightfully contagious, and they somehow know just when we need to hear it. Nothing beats a belly laugh and we get a plentiful amount of those here.
It sometimes makes me sad to think that a lot of these moments, Ella hasn’t experienced, and may never get the opportunity to. Her joys and sorrows are much different than most, and our parenting is adjusted accordingly to accommodate her needs. We often celebrate each small accomplishment in her life as though she won an Olympic gold medal. That’s because we know how much effort it took her to get where she is, and how every day she continues to work her butt off to stay on course.
As parents we have come to realize that we should take nothing for granted. Ella may be considered a special needs child, but the truth is most children have needs that are special.
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Our Special Needs World 