Often times when I talk to friends, or random people I meet, we share stories of life and moments with our kids. We ask questions and compare milestones or events that have happened. I hear other people share facts about life and wonder, am I doing it all wrong? I have come to realize that the best decisions for them might not be the best decisions for me. Who is to say, based on our life circumstances, what is best?

Truthfully, life is hard. Some days we have it all together and other days we are a hot mess. Being home with my kiddos these last few months has really relaxed me as a parent. I no longer care if any of my kids remain in their pajamas all day. I make my best effort to change them, but that means more laundry for me, and sometimes a battle that I prefer not to fight. How dirty can they really get sleeping? The same goes for me. I love wearing my comfy pj’s. I would never take them off if it was socially acceptable.

There are also things that once bothered me that no longer do. Ella and Jack are on a feeding schedule but CJ’s has become incredibly relaxed. Most days he doesn’t want breakfast and eats a crap ton of snacks between lunch and dinner. It is necessary to hit the five major food groups daily? We are lucky if we get one in for the big guy. He is constantly hungry (ugh, boys) and only will eat like four things. I am just happy he’s eating something, but am well aware that some people do not share my opinion on that. To be clear, his snacks aren’t candy and ice cream. I have to put my food down at some point.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who said to me, “we sit down and eat each meal together every day. You don’t?” My reply was, “nope.” The thing is, not all my kids wake up at the same time. Two of the three don’t understand what it means to wait to eat. Lunch and dinner doesn’t usually end up being the same time for everyone either. Depending on moods and sleep, those times are adjusted. We also feed the kids before we feed ourselves because two of them can’t fully eat independently. It would be impossible for us all to eat a warm meal at the same time. Do we sit together when we can? Sure, but Steve’s schedule makes that difficult most days. Due to the times he works, he sleeps through most traditional meal times when he is home.

Jack and Ella shower every other night. Cj showers every night. I know some parents whose kids are older than mine who only shower once a week. The tv is always on in my house for Ella. I know some parents who limit watching time. My kids go to bed when they are tired. I know some parents who have their children on a strict bedtime schedule. My boys are firm believers in the three second rule. Not every parent would be okay with that.

We are all doing what makes sense in our world. Maybe when we see that mom in the store whose daughter is dressed in a princess costume, with make up smeared all over her face, we tell that little girl she is beautiful? It doesn’t matter that she may look ridiculous. It’s time we start lifting people up and not passing judgment. It’s also time we stopped caring what other people think.

We get a ton of stares when we take Ella out and she is screaming at the top her lungs. I can only imagine what people think is happening. It’s frustrating, but with every eye roll and under the breath comment, there are people who see past that. I will never forget our flight home from Disney. Ella had a minor meltdown midair, and the woman in front of me turned around and told me I was doing a great job. Let’s all be that woman.

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