To really know CJ is to know how stubborn he is when it comes to doing almost anything outside of his comfort zone. I am not talking about a little stubborn either. I have taken away every toy he owns to try and get him to at least attempt certain things. He just doesn’t care.

We have come to find out the reason he wasn’t doing certain things was not because he couldn’t do them. It was because he doesn’t want to do them when we wanted him to. It started with talking. He was a man of few words when he was a toddler, and ended up qualifying for speech therapy. I have shared the story before of how it took one bribe from his speech therapist to get him to talk. Not just talking though. Talking in complete sentences with the proper use of pronouns. He was clearly playing us all.

It continued into pre-k when his teacher called me in concerned because he wasn’t identifying his letters. I left that meeting with him and asked if he really didn’t know them. I will never forget before we got in the car, he looked me straight in the face, pointed to his pants and said, “O S H K O S H. See mommy, I know my letters. I don’t know what Mrs. Long is talking about.” I could have rung his little neck right there. I asked why he wouldn’t identify them in school for his teachers. He told me he didn’t feel like it. Well, that attitude ended quickly.

Fast forward to kindergarten/first grade when there were concerns about his reading level. We were told we needed to read with him every night and encourage him to practice his sight words. Like the good educators and parents that we are, we did just that. It was like pulling teeth. It was seriously the worst part of the night. He fought tooth and nail. As time went on, reading became more bearable, until one day he took my phone and started reading my text messages out loud. Word for word he was reading what was said. I asked him when he learned how to read like that, and why he wasn’t reading in school. He said he learned a long time ago. He just didn’t like what the teacher was making him read. Needless to say, he will now read whatever we put in front of him. We do our best to keep the content fun and limit text messages viewing.

His stubbornness is not just school related. He refused to even try at soccer when we signed him up with the town. He would stand in the middle of the field and watch the ball fly right past him. He repeatedly told us he didn’t want to play anymore. As painful as it was to watch, we wouldn’t let him quit. The entire season CJ was “that” kid. Eventually the other kids wouldn’t even attempt to pass him the ball. I can’t say I blamed them. Shockingly, in the last few months he has developed an interest in soccer and has been asking Steve to play with him when they go outside. He even asked if we could sign him back up to play.

Let’s not forget the bike riding fiasco. My in-laws bought him an amazing bike for his fifth birthday. We were so excited to get him out in the spring to ride it. We got him a new helmet and really made a big deal about it. Even with the training wheels on, he refused to ride it. He would tell us the helmet didn’t fit right or his shoes were too big and he couldn’t pedal. It was one ridiculous excuse after another. At one point he would constantly tell us the bike wobbled too much and would hop off mid ride. Legit leaving it in the middle of the road and walking away. One day, out of the blue during the pandemic, he asked to ride his bike without the training wheels. Three days later he was flying up and down the street. We can barely keep up anymore.

We call it CJ’s way. Everything he does is done on his timeline and in the way he wants it done. He doesn’t want to be shown how to do anything and gets mad when we try and teach him. He quietly observes, and when he feels he fully understands what the expectation is, wants to try it himself. As a parent it’s frustrating, but we have learned to respect the process.

Tonight was another huge milestone for him, seven years in the making. He ate his first slice of pizza. For the longest time we have been encouraging him to try it. Every kid party we go to, he’s the only one not eating a slice. Every family pizza night, he’s asking for chicken nuggets. We would always hand him a slice and he would always turn his head and refuse. Countless people have called him out on it, and have tried to bribe him to take just one bite. As per his request, tonight he grabbed a slice, I folded it in half and he devoured the whole thing. The best part was, he asked for another slice when he was done.

It was a proud mama moment indeed. CJ told me when he was done that he had opened a gateway of new foods for himself, and eating pizza felt like a buffet in his mouth (his words, not mine). I hope this bravery continues, and he is willing to explore other food choices. This was huge. A night to remember for sure.

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