Family meant everything to my dad and until his last breath, as often as he could, he let us all know it. He struggled to say words at the end but when he did, they were I love you.

Watching my dad transform from the beacon of strength that he always was to a man who couldn’t even sit himself up in bed was heartbreaking. I wonder would it have been better to wake up one day and suddenly not have him there? Was being able to spend that time with him worth it, despite the circumstances? Every fiber of my being tells me it was.

The amount of love and support my family has received, and is continuing to receive, since I shared dads story has been unmeasurable. Old friends are reaching out to share memories. New friends are checking in making sure we have everything that we need. We have been offered babysitting services, food, and most importantly prayers. We have our immediate family together but we also have a support system that extends far and wide. For that, we are eternally grateful.

Losing dad will never be okay, and a part of me is broken forever. Dad was a lover. His big teddy bear heart shining through as he creeped up in age. He adored his grandchildren, he loved his daughters, and watching my mom and dad in his final days it was clear that she was his soulmate. The way she card for him was nothing short of angelic. It’s hard to find timeless love like theirs. I can imagine the only thing more magnificent than living it, is watching it in action. I was so blessed to see it.

Death is part of life and I knew the day would come where I would have to say goodbye to my parents. Both of those facts don’t make any of this easier. I will cry, I will laugh, I will get angry, and I will be sad. I will be there for my mom as I promised my dad I would. Most importantly, I will love. Dad wouldn’t want it any other way.

From the bottom of my heart I thank everyone who has reached out. I promise at some point I will personally get back to each and every one of you. Grief hits us all differently and I have yet to feel all the effects. Time and love shall guide me.

For now, I will keep my family close and cherish this time we have together. Writing is my therapy so I am sure there will be many more words to come!

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https://www.instagram.com/zurlnick_five