October 2, 2022

My Sweet Ella Girl,

Today is your 8th birthday and I thought this year I would start a new tradition. From this point forward I will write you a letter every year on your birthday. One we can keep, and as the years tick on look back and read together. I wish I could say I came up with this idea on my own but I am a little late to the game.

I still remember the day you were born, at 2:07 pm, as though it were yesterday. Your birth was certainly not “textbook” and you have lived each year since the same way. Despite all the challenges we have faced it has been eight years of love. Eight years of snuggles. Eight years of showing us just how strong you are. Eight years of inspiring us to fight with everything we have and eight years of changes.

You continue to teach us all so much. Your love for others inspires me. You are always willing to give people the chance to be the best they can be and find your way to show me when they fall short. I appreciate you letting me do the dirty work while you laugh your way through it all. You know mommy and daddy always have your back. 

We have celebrated your triumphs, cried during your struggles, and laughed with you on your best days. It has been one of our greatest blessings to watch your relationship with your brothers grow. You have Christopher wrapped around your finger and you know just how to instigate with Jack to really tick him off. Despite the lack of words, you two communicate perfectly. 

This year we thank you for sparing us multiple trips to hospitals via air and land. You showed us when you were not feeling well, therefore allowing us to make the necessary adjustments. You graciously endured all the testing that was ordered this year and killed it on our trip to Boston. Your epilepsy will most likely be a forever diagnosis, but it will never define who you are.

You worked hard in therapies, loved your time in the pool, and looked forward to your daily walks with Amanda and Allie. You knocked your eye gaze trial out of the park and it’s been so fun watching you use your Tobii. We attempted the keto diet with you this year, but your body wasn’t feeling it so we modified it a bit and are seeing positive results. We both made it through COVID, a second time, although you were much less whiny about it than I was. 

I know mommy got angry this year and yelled at mean people, but they are people we are better off without. I’m sorry my words drove some of your friends away, but life lessons are important. Just because someone says that they will always be there for you, doesn’t mean they will. The void hurts, but there are reasons we may not know keeping them from seeing you. People have a funny way of resurfacing. Only time will tell if there will be a reunion. 

Everything I say, every move I make, I will continue to have your best interests at heart. I will never stop fighting for what is right or fixing what is broken. You have given us the most spectacular eight years together. I can’t wait to see what the future brings. 

You have my heart forever. 

With all my love, 

Mommy

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