We ended up in the ED Friday night. My CTSD (chronic traumatic stress disorder) is fierce so after Ella woke up from a dead sleep and turned purple, I needed more medical professionals to tell me that she was going to be okay. I know it was not seizure related but I also know that RSV is no joke. This is the sickest I have seen Ella in a long time, if ever, and that’s including two rounds of COVID.

Thankfully a nurse was able to be on shift during the day Friday. When Ella woke up coughing and gasping for air I was right there with her. When her lips and tongue turned purple I looked at the nurse and said, “ummmmm, she’s purple.” Seconds after that her oxygen started to drop. I’m confident that had I been there alone I would have figured it out but because we had a nurse, she jumped right into action.

God bless nurses is all I have to say. Ella’s immediately grabbed the cough assist machine and started suctioning. After a few rounds with the machine, she did suction out what we believe was a mucus plug/obstruction in her throat. It was big. It was nasty. Her O2 and heart rate improved after. I’m fairly certain that was what was restricting her airway and making it hard for her to breathe. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep ever again unless a doctor told me her lungs were clear and the treatment plan we had was still the best one.

For those locally who are not aware, Garnet has a pediatric emergency department, and floor, in their hospital. We have always had amazing and quick care when we have gone. The ED was packed Friday night around 5 pm but we only waited maybe 20 min to be seen. As we were walking into the room, three medical professionals followed us. The second Ella got on the bed she was assessed and they told me she looked “good”. The doctor knew her entire medical history, was asking about her seizures and even knew some of her doctors in Hackensack. It was impressive. She obviously read Ella’s chart before they called us back.

I always find myself apologizing to the staff for bringing Ella into the ED. The doctors and nurses continuously tell me I am being ridiculous. With her seizure history, it’s better to be safe than sorry. It does not help that the second Ella sees the inside of the ED her body gets it together and she acts fine. Friday night she coughed the ENTIRE way there, gasping for air. We sat down in the waiting room and she was smiling and attentive to the people walking by. Years of my life this child has taken from me and she carries on without a care in the world. I would not have it any other way.

These last two weeks have been so hard for so many reasons. We are having schedule changes with Steve, we are welcoming new people into the house, there has been sickness, there has been a ton of chaos, and I am still struggling to plant my feet on flat ground and not rough terrain. I keep making myself promises I can’t keep. I feel so close to having my shit together and then something happens that causes it to fall apart.

The good news is we are in recovery. Ella will return to school this week and life can return to the normal that is us. That is one hurdle we successfully jumped and a chapter that I will be gladly end.

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