In exactly fifty eight days CJ will be graduating from elementary school and moving up to middle school. In the five years that he has been in there he has grown and navigated more than I would ever have wished for him. In some ways, he was forced to grow up a little faster than he should have.

School was always a place CJ enjoyed. On our heaviest days as a family he would ask to stay home, but going was a nice distraction, and being with his peers made things at home not feel so hard. Lately though, school has been a place CJ doesn’t want to be. Kids can be cruel and he finds it hard to watch them misbehave and be disrespectful. It’s affecting his attitude and he still can’t quite understand why he gets punished for other students’ bad behavior.

As parents, and former educators, we try to explain these life lessons to him. The reality is, life isn’t always fair, and looking at the big picture what’s happening now doesn’t even compare to what will come later. Trying to reason with a ten-year-old, who feels he knows it all can be frustrating, but as long as he stays true to himself we have assured him that better days will be headed his way.

Some days I wish I could take away all that CJ has seen and heard. Watching Ella have her first seizure, and being there when I found her was the day things changed for us all. A new fear and endless uncertainty consumed us all and he watched as the paramedics rushed into the house and took Ella away. It didn’t happen once, it happened multiple times and each time CJ stood by his sister, holding her hand and wondering if she was going to be okay. When she was medivaced he wanted to be there when the helicopter left the ground and when she was taken by ambulance he sat with her until she was stable enough to leave. To say he’s an amazing big brother is an understatement.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer CJ stepped up. He wanted to be with his grandpa every chance he got and as we watched cancer take so much from him, CJ never missed a visit or the chance to talk to him on the phone. Even in my dad’s final days, when he wasn’t talking and barely awake, CJ stood by him and told him how much he loved him. At his wake, CJ never left his side. He was eight. I would have never been that strong. In the days and weeks after he passed CJ was the one lifting us all up. He wanted to share memories and celebrate his life. He still make sure we don’t forget what an amazing man my dad was.

CJ will never be an Olympic athlete and oftentimes still trips over his own feet when he is walking. But my boy has a heart of gold. He feels deeply and loves hard. He wants to be liked and won’t stand for people mistreating others. He’s not perfect but he has made us so incredibly proud. With all that has been thrown at him, he is navigating life well.

That’s not to say we aren’t dealing with all your typical pre-teen behaviors. He despises homework, loves video games, walks around some days with a chip on his shoulder, and needs to be reminded of proper hygiene from time to time. Even though he constantly tells me I embarrass him, each night before a bed I get a hug and an I love you, and he sits and tells me about his day. I would be lost without him.