One of the things people say to me often is, “Courtney, I don’t know how you do it all”. I know it’s meant as a compliment and truly is coming from a kind place. The truth is, managing a family is hard. No matter who you are or how many kids you have. Taking marriage and kids out of the equation, managing life in general is hard.

I assure you all that my life looks very similar to yours. On any given day you will find toys on the floor, dishes piled in the sink, baskets of laundry to be cleaned, and massive amounts of opened Amazon boxes waiting to be taken to the recycling bin. I don’t have to wake up and get dressed for work (I can’t even imagine fitting that in.) but I do have three kids to dress and get to school, three lunches to pack, and five different personalities to navigate, mine and Ella’s nurse included. I loathe mornings and my wake-up time varies daily with Jack sometimes up and ready to go at 4:30 am.

Like many of you, I am in a constant state of fatigue. I can’t understand why my children resist sleep and can’t wait for the day late wake ups becomes the norm. When that glorious day comes, I imagine myself standing over their beds poking them in the eye, or running into their room screaming as though the house is on fire. Sitting down for a thirty-second mom time out is rare at our house. Amazingly enough, my children, as I am sure yours as well, can go hours without needing anything. The nanosecond I sit down someone is hungry, thirsty, soiled, or has a million questions about everything and nothing all at the same time.

Showering is on my daily agenda but sadly doesn’t always get checked off as completed. Sometimes one quick phone call turns into two, and two calls turn into three. My inbox and text messages fill up quickly and suddenly a day with nothing planned turns into a day where I find myself trying to catch up on paperwork, or returning messages. Just when I think my hubby will be home to assist, and allow me to have a moment to breathe, he’s called for overtime or forced to stay at work. So, instead of me trying to decide when to shower I’m counting down the minutes until my head can hit the pillow.

Only when I finally crawl into bed I start thinking of the dozens of things I have to do the next day and all I wasn’t able to accomplish before going to bed. I work hard at trying to turn it all off but it’s not always easy. Without night nursing Ella’s alarms are guaranteed to wake me up, at which time she will need to be readjusted in bed or monitored until things calm down. If I am lucky I’m looking at a solid four or five hours of sleep a night. If I can get a power nap during the day I consider it a victory.

Despite it all, I am grateful every day that I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home and take care of my kids. It doesn’t go without sacrifice but I can’t imagine my life any other way. It allows me to be at every appointment, volunteer in my kiddo’s classrooms, drop off forgotten instruments, and give them all big smooches right before I send them off to school. I also get to greet them when they come home and hear about their day. I will take exhaustion every day of the week if it means I get to be home and be present.

My house will never be the cleanest on the block, meals won’t always be freshly made, I won’t always be put together in public, but my heart will always be full. To those who think I have it all together, thank you. I promise you do too.

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