Silk and Linen. When you look up what to get for a twelfth-anniversary gift, that is the answer you will find. Silk is a representation of the elegance and refinement of your relationship, while linen symbolizes strength and durability.

Steve and I don’t exchange anniversary gifts. It was a choice we made in year one. Instead, we make time to go out to dinner and celebrate another year of loving each other, and making it through all that was thrown at us. Marriage is hard. It takes work. We know this.

Each year we reflect. In many ways, this was a big one for us. Steve transferred to a new unit at work. With that transfer came a new consistent schedule. He no longer works late nights and is consistently home the same two days, one of them being over the weekend. It’s a smaller command and there is more flexibility. We have spent more time together as a family since he transferred and it’s been nice having him around for bedtime. Having him home at night means that we are both sleeping better.

Without a doubt, the biggest and best thing to happen this year was Ella getting her diagnosis of Rett Syndrome. The stress of not knowing sat heavy on our shoulders and Steve and I have been coping in different ways. That stress often manifested in unhealthy ways and at any given moment we knew when the other needed time and space. The day-to-day of raising Ella is a walk in the park compared to those days when tough decisions need to be made and medical challenges arise. I’m an alarmist while Steve is more level-headed. I could not ask for a better partner to balance me out.

We celebrated CJ graduating elementary school and watching the boys grow up has been bittersweet. CJ is very much into girls and time with his friends while Jack is gaining more independence and needing us less and less. They are both stubborn and fierce, qualities that come from their parents. They also love hard and this mama knows they will always look out for her. Their empathy is one of the things I adore most about them.

The beginning of this last year was a tough one for me. I was still trying to navigate life without my dad and find my place. In February I spent time with my best friend and godson in Las Vegas and came back recharged. Upon my return, I told Steve I was finally ready to start the foundation. In March, it happened. I have loved planning and brainstorming events and find myself busy meeting people and networking while the kids are at school. It truly has made me feel accomplished, in a different way than raising my babies does.

Year twelve was overall pretty great. I would say we are elegant and refined while remaining durable and strong. Looking forward to seeing what year thirteen brings.

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