For those of you who have a front row seat to my life, you know that when it comes to getting what my kids are entitled to, I don’t back down. Whether that means justice, equipment they needs, or policies changed. When it comes to Ella, in her five short years on the Earth I can’t tell you how many people I have pissed off.

Being a parent of a special needs child means so many things, but one of the most important is staying on top of everything that is going on, and questioning what you don’t understand or agree with. While you want to believe that people always do the right thing, I think we can all agree that most of the time that’s not the case. I don’t win every battle but that doesn’t mean I am afraid to fight it.

Steve and I have had some memorable battles over the years. From my calls to the senator when Ella was in early intervention, to the confrontations with the woman in charge of pre-school bussing, to the personal messages for the director of pre-school services. I can’t forget to mention the countless bus issues, the across the table finger pointing from her speech therapist, and the numerous conversations with the director at Ella’s first pre-school.

Yes. That’s right. I said Ella’s first pre-school. Making choices for your child is hard, and of course you always want to make the right ones for them, but sometimes you just don’t. That was the case when we choose Ella’s first pre-school. For so many reasons it was the wrong fit. I was so focused on Ella having pool therapy, that I had blinders on when it came to other important aspects of her schooling. It took us a year to get her out of there and it was the best decision we ever made.

It needs to be said, for those who think I am impulsive, this was a long time coming and the final straw was a good enough reason alone. A little over a year after Ella started in pre-school, she came home with a tooth hanging out of her mouth. The school blamed the bus. The bus blamed the school. We were able to have the district watch the bus video and confirm it wasn’t them. The school provided zero explanation as to what happened and held strong with their story that it didn’t happen on school grounds. A same day visit to the dentist confirmed it was caused my trauma and there was no way Ella could have done if herself. We called the county to conduct an investigation and pulled her out of school. Don’t be too shocked when I tell you the investigation was inconclusive.

Ella was scheduled to start her new school in September. It was brand new to the county and opening in a closer location than her old school. We were very excited. Well, the new school didn’t open until October, there was no equipment ordered for her when she started school, and the classroom had minimal air conditioning or air flow. She missed a month and a half of therapies waiting for the doors to open.

Once we got past alllllll that frustration and Ella began her new school, we were thrilled. Ella loved her bus driver and bus aide, her teacher was fabulous, her one-to-one aide was amazing, and her therapists were some of the best she has had to date. She came home happy every day. We were getting pictures and reports of her doing such wonderful things at school, including using the potty. It truly was the place for her to be. There was so much love and the school was filled with such delightful and caring people. I cried when we said goodbye and to this day still miss everything about her time there.

If we learned anything from our early intervention and pre-school battles it’s to never back down. Fight. (Never violently though. Only use your words.) As a parent/caregiver you are your child’s best advocate, in all aspects of life. Don’t ever question your ability to make things happen. I am here to tell you, you can. Let your voice be heard.